What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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