Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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