So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
