my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
