He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
