after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
