would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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