I'm jealous of your bromance
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
