dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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