so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
