You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
