Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
