This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
