i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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