He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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