He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
