i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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