I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
