i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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