I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
