why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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