Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
