At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
