apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
