your parents love me but you hate me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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