The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
