He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
