i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I deserve this hangover.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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