It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
