My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize