I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am naked and annoyed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
