I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
