this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize