you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
