I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
