SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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