that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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