Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
