I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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