Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
