Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
