That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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