Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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