Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
