isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize