did you get engaged???
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
