My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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