Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
