You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
