It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
