It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
