Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
PANTIES FOUND
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
