i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
