THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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