I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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