would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize