I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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