Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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