Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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