It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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