At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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