yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
