I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
