I'm so fucking centered right now
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
