so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
