I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
