just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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