You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
